Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
