that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The adults are the big ones right?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
