there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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