Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
This is the high leading the old right now
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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