Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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