I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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