Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
