Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
