put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
