I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
