1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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