Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
