I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
