@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
