so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
