suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
