# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
