I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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