dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Im part way to drunk.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The air taste purple.
Randomize
