i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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