Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize