Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
