He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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