Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
