bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
