4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
