I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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