I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It's rum buckets o'clock
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
