Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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