I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize