what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
