I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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