so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
