SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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