Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
