she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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