there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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