dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize