You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
