Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
