this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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