btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
