Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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