Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
