she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
