I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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