I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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