if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
