just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
