I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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