I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
