Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize