oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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