If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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