I am puke
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
