just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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