He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
