we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
