so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize