My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
