I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
