she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
