worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
