In the future we'll all be gay
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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