Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
