do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
