God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
