Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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