all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
