Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
