i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
