What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Terrible idea I love it
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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