He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
