Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
