ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I think I just sharted jello shots
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