They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
