you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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