i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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