i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
