i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize