My friends, they love my intelligence
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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