I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We left an ass print on the piano.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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